Keep Calm and PARENT On: Chores and Contributions!

Posted on by Jennie Buckley

Dear Friends,

I hope you all are staying healthy. Since we are now in week 3 of the recommended Shelter in Place, I wanted to touch on the value and importance of chores.

Let’s be clear: there is ALWAYS plenty of things to do around the house to stay busy…even when you’re not quarantined! What if we use this time at home to not only build independence and skill in our kids, but also to lighten our load! Chores can increase responsibility and self-esteem by encouraging children to make a contribution to the world. Kids feel proud when they can do it themselves!

In our house, we call chores “contributions” instead. It’s true. Everyone needs to be needed and for kids, their contributions are definitely needed, especially right now!

Whenever starting the idea of chores, or contributions, it’s always a good idea to ASK kids what they are interested in being in charge of. I asked that question to Reilly when he was 3-years-old, and he wanted to learn to feed the dog. Last month, he wanted to learn to vacuum. Ok, no problem! It’s amazing the things kids are curious about…we just sometimes to forget to ask.

A good plan for starting contributions/chores: 

  • ASK: what are you interested in being in charge of?
  • MODEL: show your child the steps to do the task
  • WATCH: watch your kiddo do the task, and tweak with help if needed
  • LET GO: step back and let them go!

It’s not going to be as efficient as the way we would do it, but that’s ok.
They will get better with practice…just like we did. 

Here are just a few ideas of things we can scaffold and help kids learn how to do:

Toddlers Can:

  • Put wet clothes in the dryer
  • Empty dishwasher by handing dishes to parent
  • Pick up some of their toys
  • Hands diapers to parents, puts diapers in stacker, puts diapers in the diaper pail
  • Open and close jars
  • Tear lettuce for salads
  • Help dig, mix soil, fill holes, water, pick up sticks in yard
  • Wipe tables, windows, showers
  • Push small vacuum or dust buster
  • Feed dog or cat dry food (with instruction & a limited amount of food in sack!)
  • Push the grocery cart, locate items on shelf
  • Scrub plastic dishes or vegetables at sink
  • Find things – “Where’s daddy’s book”, etc.
  • Help bake- crack eggs, pour liquids, spoon in batter, etc. with instructions!

Preschoolers Can :

All of the above plus . . .

  • Pour beverages into glass at mealtime
  • Water flowers and plants
  • Rinse and put away dishes into dishwasher
  • Sort, put clothes into washer, fold laundry, carry to designated room
  • Wash the table after meals
  • Clean mirrors or windows- spray bottles are great!
  • Dusting of any kind
  • Clear and set table
  • Polish silver, furniture or shoes
  • Weed gardens, raking
  • Care for pets- feeding, watering, brushing, playing and walking
  • Care for self – wash hands, comb hair, choose clothes, dress & undress, with as little assistance as possible, brush teeth, get bedtime glass of water
  • Shake hands and offer other types of greetings
  • Offer something to a guest (drink etc.)
  • Place own order at restaurant (with prior discussion of what’s acceptable/appropriate)
  • Answer the telephone, door
  • Make own bed – keep room in order (open shelves & labeled buckets for toys helps)
  • Prepare simple meals
  • Rub backs
  • Participate in family meetings, discussions and decision-making when appropriate

School – Agers Can:  

All of the above plus . . .

  • Do their laundry
  • Make breakfast for the family on weekends, themselves on school days
  • Pack their school lunch
  • Pick up their own toys – alone!
  • Vacuum
  • Empty dishwasher
  • Take out recycling
  • Rake leaves
  • Baby-sit younger siblings, with coaching
  • Have an allowance that they can decide how to spend
  • Earn extra money helping with family jobs (beyond their own responsibilities)
  • Plant a vegetable garden
  • Take phone messages
  • Run quick errands while parents wait in car- buy milk at 7-11, etc.
  • Make telephone calls to find things they need-and to order pizza, etc. with permission
  • Begin to be responsible for their own small pet (hamster etc.)
  • Ride bike around the neighborhood, to friends, and to the store once parents have checked
  • them out on safety issues
  • Begin to select own clothes to buy with a clothing allowance after instruction (age 12 & up)
  • Be in charge of their own homework and science fair projects, using parent only as a resource – including giving advance notice of needing supplies
  • Be in charge of investigating and choosing after-school sports/classes
  • Be in charge of their bedroom decorations
  • Completely dress themselves, including hair
  • Be responsible for participating in family meetings, decisions that directly affect themselves
  • Assist neighbors in activities/ chores for pay
  • Become involved in activities at home – painting, etc.
  • Develop skills in the kitchen, and discover his/her own specialties in cooking
  • Be left “in charge of the house “ for limited amounts of time
  • Be trusted to manage their own friendships, even though parents are available as a resource in friendship matters
  • Be allowed to choose own music and listen to it privately
  • Help with community service- food drives, selling Girl Scout cookies etc.

Teen – Agers Can:

All of the above plus . . .
Help with local community service and concerns of the world:

  • Generation Serve
  • Habitat for Humanity
  • Meals on Wheels
  • Mobile Loaves and Fishes
  • Central Texas Food Bank
  • Austin Pets Alive
  • Austin Parks Foundation
  • Keep Austin Beautiful
  • Children’s Hope Chest organization
  • Humane Society
  • 4Ocean

Remember to Keep Calm, and Parent On and of course, let us know if we can support you going forward. 

Best,

Jennie and Claire